Seeing Red: Enraging the Minotaur

Everyone knows the best way to send a bull into a killing frenzy is to wave a red cape in its face. Those that can survive after performing such an act become Matadors, and even those guys may eventually get a horn up their rectum (2d6+9 piercing damage).

He looks pretty mad to me

So it’s generally considered a bad idea to wave red objects in front of a bull’s face. Now, take the Minotaur, which has the head (and therefore, logically, the brain) of a bull, and the body of a man (except for the feet, which are bull hooves sometimes). It stands to reason that red would also spark the ire of the Minotaur.

But is that overgeneralizing? Perhaps. To better illustrate to your players that each Minotaur is a unique creature (and to ride the wave of the ultra-hip social media movement, #notallminotaurs), I’ve devised a random rolling chart to determine how YOUR Minotaur reacts to red things waved in its face:

Your players would do well to tread carefully when dealing with the unknown

First, roll a d12 (the most under represented die in the game, btw):

1: This Minotaur is red/green colorblind. This means that waving a green object in its face will make it just as mad as a red one.

2: This Minotaur doesn’t like red waved in its face, but he’s not going to like, make a big deal about it. He will ask the players to stop, though (+4 to Diplomacy checks)

3: This Minotaur is a Communist, and will consider anyone with anything resembling a red flag or red uniform as a Comrade (and refer to them as such) unless they have proven themselves to be otherwise.

4: This Minotaur has studied the color wheel extensively, and will only be enraged by True Red. All other red variants (such as Burgundy, Maroon, etc.) will cause only minor annoyance to him (important: this variant is ALWAYS a “him”). At DM discretion, he may tell the characters that the object they are waving in his face is not “true” red, but in fact “x”. If this happens at least three times, the PC’s may add their proficiency bonus to all Color Theory checks for the duration of the campaign (may be overpowered, so its DM discretion!).

5: This Minotaur doesn’t understand the concept of red, because she has no color vision at all, and only perceives light in shades of gray. She doesn’t understand what all the other Minotaurs are getting worked up about. She automatically fails all Color Theory checks (consider making this Minotaur -1 CR).

6-8: These Minotaurs get enraged if you wave red objects in their face, and doing so is a one-way ticket to Horn Up Your Butt City, population: you. They are unique in other ways, but that is beyond the scope of this chart.

9-12: Put down the D12, pickup up a d8, then roll again on this chart. Nobody uses d12’s. You shouldn’t either.

I hope this chart will make your life easier when you’re the DM and it’s time for the players to encounter a Minotaur.

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Patrick Spriggs

I laughed out loud when I read that there’s a chance that a Minotaur would refer to me as “Comrade” in a Russian accent.

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